This Path, My Path
by Anaea
Summary: VIVA LA BAM/VILLE VALO Sorry 'bout that, had to get you attention. Former soldier, trained killer, expectant mother, homeless traveling musician. Disowned by her family for chosing be be was she became. How is a 26year old widow supposed to survive?
1. The Bard

**_This Path, My Path_**

**_Chapter 1: The Bard-ette_**

A lone figure sat on a bench in the park; a low, almost-slow melody flowing from the instrument she held. The neck of it rested on her left shoulder, right next to her head. Her head tilted to the left, as if she wanted to be even nearer to the music. Her brow furrowed was slightly in concentration, while he top half of her body swayed to the rhythm of the music and her boot covered right foot tapped on the ground to the beat. Her eyes, barely visible behind half-closed lids, followed the bow in her right hand as it moved from left to right and back again, the angle at which she held it changing just as constantly. Her left hand walked up and down the neck of the cello, pressing down strings, sometimes simply moving swiftly enough to bring vibratos into the music.

A steel-and-leather cello case rested, open, at her feet, a few coins and some dollar-bills at the bottom of it; a steaming cup, giving off the distinct scent of coffee next to her foot, while the cello's endpin rested between the figure's feet. A green camouflage duffel bag was set next to her on the bench, and on top of that a black violin case.

**_

* * *

_**

"Ugh, why the fuck do I gotta carry this shit?" Raab whined loudly after making his third trip to and from the Hummer.

"'Cause we're gonna go have a picnic, so shut up and hurry up," Bam yelled from the other side of the house.

As Raab continued to trudge to the kitchen for more shit that he didn't want to carry, he yelled, "What's the fuckin' point! It's February!"

"It's Valentine's Day and Ape wants a fucking picnic, asswipe! Just shut up and do it!"

"But it's snowing!"

"You know he's not gonna listen," came a new voice.

"Shit! Fuck man… uhh… you're awake?"

"No, you're imagining things. Did we run out of beer?" asked Ville.

"Uhhh… uh'dunno."

Ville rolled his eyes and yelled at Dunn who'd passed out on the floor of the Pirate Bar the previous night.

"_What?_" mumbled a very tired Dunn.

Before Ville could answer a series of crashes brought a tumbling Raab –holding three grocery bags filled with things for the picnic- down the stairs.

"Ugh… I told you guys the picnic was a bad idea…" Raab moaned, clutching his head.

Ville spared him one glance before turning back to Dunn, "where's the booze?"

**_

* * *

_**

Thirty minutes later, Bam, DiCo, Dunn, Raab, Novak, Jess, and Ville were all piled in Bam's red Hummer; and Rake was driving Phil and Ape in the limo.

**_Some time later…_**

"Duuuu-de! Why the fuck do I always have to do this?" Raab yelled.

While Raab got everything ready, Ape and Phil walked off on their own, Bam, DiCo, Novak and Jess began making a snowman and some snow angels –mostly by throwing, shoving and pushing each other into the snow. After trying and failing to peacefully have a cigarette, Ville walked away from the rest of the guys, vaguely telling so to Bam when he asked.

**_

* * *

_**

April and Phil Margera had been walking along the path for a few minutes before the heard a sound, it was a bit eerie, though not unpleasant. April dragged her husband in the direction of the sound, until they came upon a young woman who was playing a cello. She wore dirty, baggy, camouflage, military-style green pants, the bottoms of which were tucked into worn, but well kept, black combat boots. Other than that, only a black, sleeveless tank top covered her body, though quite a few tattoos decorated her arms.

"Mozart?" inquired Phil, really, classical music had never been something he liked much, but his wife liked listening to it from time to time.

"Bach." She corrected.

"Oh. Let's go check it out."

She nodded at Phil, smiling, and they both walked towards the girl. Once they neared her, Ape also noticed that the girl had an open cello case at her feet, and there was some money inside, and she also had a duffel bag and a violin case next to her on the bench where she was sitting. And when Ape and Phil drew a bit closer still, they both saw that the young woman –probably in her early or mid-twenties- was terribly emaciated; her ribs could be seen through the tank top she wore, though a small belly could be seen as well, although that might've just been a result of her slouching. And her face looked gaunt; her eyes were haunted, they looked old; her dark hair hung limply on her shoulders. But despite all of that she gave them both a smile –though she didn't pause her playing- when they took a seat on the bench in front of hers. April closed her eyes and leaned on her husband's shoulder. Phil simply looked at his wife's peaceful expression; deciding that maybe, if for no other reason, this was enough reason for him to start liking classical music.

They stayed there for another five minutes or so, before the girl finished her cello piece with one final, drawn-out, haunting note.

"Is there a particular piece that you might like to hear?" a rich, somewhat deep voice asked, slowly bringing them out of the daze the music had left them in.

"Do you play Violin also?" April asked in return, noticing for the second time that there was a violin case next to the girl.

**_

* * *

_**

The cellist nodded, smiling a little. She'd seen of them from the corner of her eye, if possible, she'd like to get them to dance to her cello, or violin. The way that he looked at her -and the way she let herself depend solely on him if only for a few minutes- they didn't just care about each other, they didn't just love each other; they were _in_ love.

After the past eight years this cellist learned to really appreciate people who could have that look in their eyes.

"Do you mind playing the Violin for a bit? I don't have any favorites, but I really do love the sound of a violin," the blond woman said.

"Would you like me to play something for you to dance to?" the Cellist asked.

The man and woman exchanged a look and, after the man kissed her, the woman nodded.

With great care, the cellist placed the cello back in its case, after she had moved all the coins and bills in it into a compartment. She then closed up the case, sat down, and, after taking the violin out of its case with just as much reverence, the woman nodded towards the couple.

Once they were standing facing each other she whispered to herself, "Here we go."

And another melody came alive.

**_

* * *

_**

"Man, they've been gone a long time… should we go look for 'em?" Dunn asked Bam, who was currently forcing Raab's face into the snow.

"Yeah let's go. We'll get Ville first." Bam jumped up and started walking in the general direction that they saw Ville walking in.

**_

* * *

_**

"Hey, there he is!" Raab pointed out the silhouette of Ville.

They approached him; he was in one of the more 'foresty' parts of the park. He was facing out towards the more normal area.

"Hey, Ville!" Bam yelled, only to have the man turn and shush him loudly.

They all stopped in their tracks, until Ville motioned for them to come closer.

"_What?_" whispered Bam.

"Look," stated Ville, pointing at a couple dancing in the middle of one of the park's trails.

"_Why are we whispering?_" hissed Raab, just before Dunn hit him on the head.

They all turned to look at whatever it was that Ville had pointed at.

**_

* * *

_**

With one final note, the cellist –now violinist- ended her song. The couple stayed still for a few seconds before the woman gave her husband a short, sweet kiss on the lips and they both turned, smiling, to the smiling girl who'd played for them.

The woman had tears in her eyes, and the man couldn't stop smiling. And after a moment of silence, loud cheering, whistling and clapping, drew their attention the line of trees just ten feet or so behind the girl.

A group of men stood there, most of them cheering and making noise, but one simply stood there, taking drags from a cigarette. They walked toward the couple who'd danced and started speaking too fast for the girl to follow, so she put her violin away, pulled out a pack of cigarettes and started patting herself down looking for a lighter.

"Here," said the man who'd been –and still was- smoking.

"Hn, thanks," she squeezed the cigarette in her hand until a distinct _pop_ came from the filter. After lighting it, she handed the man his lighter and sat down again.

"So, you're a soldier?" he asked in a half-assed attempt to start a conversation.

"Hm? Oh, was. They discharged me," she answered.

The man blinked. Discharged? "Why?"

"Huh? Oh, uhh, I guess I saw one too many deaths. They said I wasn't stable enough to the rigorous life of a U.S. Marine, so they gave me the boot." She explained, though vaguely.

"Heh, I'm guessing this is about the time when parents start dragging their kids away?"

"No, as soon as I say I got discharged they start runnin' for the hills."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So when'd you become a soldier?"

"Me and three of my buddies signed up as soon as we all turned seventeen."

"What you guys wanted to be all together?"

The young woman smiled, though her eyes seemed a bit sad, "that was the idea."

"What happened?"

She didn't respond immediately, but the man was quite sure she'd heard him. "They died."

They both stayed quiet for some time, until the girl had to light another cigarette, then he handed her the lighter again.

"Does it hurt to talk about?" he asked. He wouldn't deny that he was curious, but he wouldn't pry if it was too painful for her to speak about.

"I'd be lying if I said no. But then again, the last time I talked about it was three days before they discharged me, 'cause they sent me to some damn shrink. If you want to know about it, you can just ask, you know?" she gave him another small smile, but this one too didn't reach her eyes. And such an interesting color her eyes were. A shade of brown so light and a touch of grayness, they were almost yellow; a predator's eyes.

Throwing caution to the wind –or down the shitter- the man asked, "How did they die?"

The girl gave an even smaller smile, but this one –though it still didn't reach her eyes- did seem to ease the harshness in her eyes. As though she'd wanted to have someone to talk to about this, but no one listened, or people were too afraid.

She turned away, towards the horizon. And she began:

"Richy, Mike, Morgan and I all went to the same schools from 2nd to 12th grade. When we entered high school, we'd decided that when we graduated, we still wanted to stay together, whether we went to college, got jobs, moved away, or whatever.

"Since we would not, _could_ not agree, we figured that we should at least agree on a way to agree. Morgan came up with the idea that we should let the person who graduated with the highest grades decide. We agreed.

"If Richy got the best grades, we would all go to college together.

"If Mike got the best grades, we'd all get jobs and just stay in the same town. Mess with the same people, TP or egg the same houses. You know, leave things the way they had been.

"If Morgan won, he decided he wanted us to move away and start a new life somewhere.

"And if I got the highest scores, I wanted to get in the Military, or, more specifically, the Marines. Despite my father having told me he'd disown me if I enlisted.

"As a perk, we all decided that, not only could we not change our minds, but once high school started, we'd start preparing to the most likely outcome by starting to study, get weekend jobs, or workout, depending who got the best grades each semester.

"Well. Needless to say, I won, and once we all turned seventeen, we called the Marine recruiter and told him we wanted to know what we'd gotten on our entry tests and the results of our physicals, and all that jazz.

"When we finished Boot camp, I was a sniper, Morgan was my spotter, Richy was going to be an engineer and Mike was simple infantry.

"We'd made a deal with our recruiter and 'cause of that we all were gonna be in the same group. That was in 2000.

"Later, what with the 9/11 thing, we all got shipped off together.

"In 2006, 'because we all agreed to re-enlist, Mike's battalion was attacked. Morgan and Richy told me. We had to identify the body, because his head had been blown to bits. The only reason we were able to identify him was because one days about eight years previous, we'd gone skinny dipping, and we teased him a lot afterwards because of a birthmark he had on his right butt cheek; shaped like a set of lips. We called him Kiss Ass for the longest time. He was the baby of our group. He died three days before his twenty-third birthday.

"Morgan, Richy and I were given two weeks off, to both go to the funeral, and pull ourselves together.

"But we couldn't take it. We called our commanding officer two days after the funeral, told him we were fine, we didn't need anymore time. All we'd done was get identical tattoos of a picture all four of us had taken together just before we'd been deployed, at a fair on our backs, with the years of birth and death under Mike's name, and birth under the three of us who were still alive.

"Four hours after we'd made the call, we were on our way back.

"Nine months ago, a rocket launcher was fired at the chopper that was supposed to have taken Richy to another military base, because they needed engineers and he volunteered. Morgan and I were, once again, called to identify the body. We had to look at the corpses for such a long time…. Everything had been burnt onto their skin. We managed to find a piece of the tattoo that was relatively intact; about a square inch of skin.

"Richy was the oldest of the boys; the smartest too. I don't think I ever heard him curse. We used to call him Squeal 'cause one time we'd been playing football, and we threw the ball at him someone called his name… he got hit right on the nuts….

"Morgan and me were once again given two weeks, and this time, we used up every minute of our vacation. We did everything we could think of. And quite a few that we didn't think of at all. We went and got 2008 tattooed on our backs, under Richy's face. On a whim we decided to get married, so off to Vegas. After that, back to the Tattoo parlor and just over our heads we got a set of and handcuffs and a ring; together with the date and stuff. Two days before we left again, we both got approved for military life insurance, which we only thought of after we'd gotten married. On the way over, Morgan and I promised each other that after we got done with the military, we would travel for a while. Later on, we would go to college, and then move back to our home town. Like that we would be able to do what Richy and Mike and he had wanted to do. And of course, what would life be without its perks; we decided that even if one of us died, the other would still do it. And we would tell our story to anyone who might listen.

"Two months ago, Morgan and I had just been walking out of the Mess Hall when we heard a yell. When we turned, we saw that an enemy had somehow gotten into the base. He was waving a gun. And he was less than twenty feet away. He took aim at me, I was of higher ranking than Morgan, so it made sense that they'd go after me… I guess.

"Before the bullets could hit me, Morgan spun around and wrapped his arms around me. By the time I got my rifle and killed the enemy, Morgan had already started drowning… in his own blood.

"I'd already been a trained killer for the better part of eight years. I knew he was going to die. So when he asked me to hold him, I held him. When he said he was cold, I told him he wouldn't be cold anymore in a little while, to hold on. Then I asked him to pick a name: that I was pregnant.

"He smiled and whispered, 'the three,' and died.

"Morgan had always been my favorite. I'd had a crush on him since we were in second grade when he beat up a fourth grader for making me cry. Whenever I needed someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, he was always there. I really loved him. He was my first everything. First friend, first crush, first love, first lover, only husband, and he's given me my first child.

"Two hours after Morgan died I got orders, saying that I was going to San Diego.

"Three days later, I had been evaluated, tested, poked and probed, questioned, and had who know what done to me.

"I was declared 'No Longer Mentally or Psychologically Able to Continue to Assist the United States Marine Corps in the War against Terrorism.'

"And just like that, the people I'd told my best friends, my only family, that were good and just and who-knows-what else: those same people, threw me to the curb. They took my world from me, but kicked me away when I would've gladly given them my life.

"So now, two months later, I've finally told my story to someone."

The woman smiled at the man who was now seated beside her and this time. When he looked at her, not only did she give him a smile, but this time, it lit up her eyes and her entire face seemed to glow. In spite of the trails of tears running along her face –or maybe because of- her skin seemed to shimmer.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to what I've wanted to say for so long." She said, "_thank you_."


	2. Remember

Disclaimer: it's in the first chappie.

**_This Path, My Path_**

**Chapter 2: Remember**

The man just looked at the young woman next to him. It wasn't until after they'd both had at least another five or so cigarettes he noticed that everyone else had left.

"You know, the world won't be kind to a 26-year old, pregnant, traveling, story-telling musician. What's gonna happen when you start showing?" He said before he could stop himself.

She smiled again, but the harshness in her eyes was coming back, as was the rigidness in her otherwise casual posture.

"I wouldn't expect anything else. It's strange; most veterans think that crowds should part ways for them, that they should be treated like celebrities. But, I know that my decision resulted in the deaths of the three people in this world I would've gladly died and killed for. I don't think I'll mind being looked down on. Not after everything else I've gone through."

'_She's so young… is she completely alone?_' "Did you father really disown you?" he asked, and mentally kicked himself the moment the words had left his lips.

"Yes. I went to visit just after they discharged me; he –quite literally- threw me out. Told me if he saw me trespassing on his property again, he'd call the cops. That very night I got a bus ticket to Maine, I figured that's be as good a place as any to start."

"Have you walked the entire time?"

"Yeah, but sometimes someone'll ask if I'd be willing to play at parties and weddings and such. When I can I try to make money however I can, and that's how I get around."

"Didn't you save any money when you were in the military?"

"Yeah, but I'm saving it, I only use it if the temperature goes down too much and I can't find another way to get out of the cold."

The man finally got a hold of his tongue, so he held out his hand, "I'm Ville."

She smiled again and shook his hand, "Jezz."

"Jezz?"

"Yeah, like Jazz, but with an 'e,'" she said.

"Is it short for something?"

"Yeah, Jezzika."

"Cool. Hey, my friends and I are having a picnic, do you mind coming? The woman who was here earlier, she wanted to come here for Valentine's, maybe you can play for her?"

"You sure your friends won't mind?"

Before Ville could answer a loud, "VILLLLEEEEEE!" rang through the park.

Jezz and Ville looked towards the source of the sound saw the same group of men from earlier running towards them. Ville stood up and moved behind the bench, "hey, Ba-oof!" whatever he'd been trying to say was cut-off when the men tackled him to the ground and dog-piled on top of him.

* * *

And five minutes later, after Ville had introduced Jezz to the rest of the guys, Raab was once again whining about having to carry things while he hauled Jezz's duffel bag with him. Ville and Jezz walked behind the group of children (most of whom were sporting facial hair in some way) Ville carried the violin case and Jezz carried the cello case, mostly because she wouldn't let anyone else go near it.

"Damn," Jezz hissed when she sat down after being formally introduced to April –or Ape- Phil and Vito; Bam's Mother, Father and Uncle, respectively.

"What?" asked Ville.

"I'm out of cigarettes."

"Not good to be smoking in your condition anyways."

"Yeah, doesn't make it any easier though."

"You're a Marine, I'm sure you can do it."

"I only smoke like once a week. The pack I just finished I've been carrying since Connecticut."

* * *

A couple of hours later, the picnickers left the park, and Jezz walked back to her bench. The sun was starting to set and she needed to rest. She hadn't felt as… human… as she had among these people, in a long time. So after she had made her way back to the park, she sat down, and dug around her duffel bag. After she'd found what she was looking for she settled down, and after clicking the pen in her right hand, she began, '_Dear Diary_' and her hand moved, "Дорогой Дневник."

* * *

Night had come, meaning that there was lots of drinking at Castle Bam. Sometime during the drinking, Ville had ended up telling everyone everything he could recall of Jezz's life in his drunken stupor.

Of course Ape and Phil had heard, since they had, at the time, been trying to prevent too much damage from being dealt to the house.

Ape's mother-side came out with a vengeance and she started yelling at everyone to get in the car, not like she was going to leave them home alone.

Half an hour later they were pulling into the park, just as one of two police cars pulled out.

Ape –on the passenger side, while Phil drove- jumped out of the car and went to one of the cops still there.

"Excuse me, what's going on here?" she asked the officer.

"A girl started a fire." He replied.

"Where is she?"

"Are you a relative?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes." There was no hesitation and Ape's answer.

The officer looked at her skeptically but he knew that look in her eye… he'd seen it in her son's when he wanted something and decided that no one was going to foil his plans. He sighed, "The other cruiser took her and her belongings down to the station."

"Thank you!" She ran back to the Hummer and they were off again.

* * *

Jezzika patiently waited for the cruiser to get to the police station, the handcuffs were less than comfortable, but they stopped bothering her after her hands fell asleep.

A short while later, her was in a cell, though she managed to convince the cops to let her keep her Violin, but he –Officer Matthews- only gave her the stringed instrument after taking it out of the case himself, and gave her the bow shortly afterwards.

After about five minutes of not playing much of anything, one of the other officers, this one quite a bit younger than the others, came up to the cell bars, "do you know how to play The Devil Went Down to Georgia?" he asked the violinist.

She smiled at him, making him blush slightly, "yes," she answered.

"I got a guitar, you think you can play wit' me?" he asked.

"Of course, it's been a while since I had someone to play with," she whispered. And he –obviously catching the double meaning in her words- turned red, from nose to ears. He barely managed to stutter out a few words before almost running to the back.

Jezz heard someone laughing and turned around to see Matthews trying and failing to contain his laughter. "'Bout time someone got that kid all embarrassed." He said when he saw Jezz looking at him.

She smiled again, "Maybe I should have my fun with you too…" she said, leaving the sentence hanging.

Matthews only grinned, "You can try, but I already heard about you, Fiddler. My brother-in-law is Chief Dale-"

"Ah, the Chief in Providence, Rhode Island?"

"Yeah, that's the one." Matthews said, still grinning, "You know the other guys are still teasing him about that."

Jezz tilted her head to the side like an amused puppy, "not my fault. He was just too easy, I had to tease him."

The younger officer chose that moment to make his appearance, carrying with him a black-and-white, western-style, acoustic guitar. He grabbed a chair and got ready; making sure everything was tuned right.

"Ready?" he asked her.

She lifted her violin and rested it against the crook of her neck and raised her bow. "Charlie Daniels' version?"

"Yeah, everything else sucks."

"Glad to know someone agrees with me. I'll start."

"I'm the devil!" he piped in.

"I suppose I'm Johnny then, what, with my playing the fiddle. And what about the rest?"

"I'll do it," said the almost-forgotten Matthews.

"Alright," Johnny and Jezz said at the same time.

So Jezz started the song, and soon enough Matthew started his part. On and on they went and all-too soon they were done, only to be startled by loud cheering coming from more than just the one other officer in the station with them.

Thirty minutes later Ape had posted bail –despite all of Jezz's protests- and Jezz was on her way to Bam's house in the same red Hummer that she'd seen them all go away in just hours before.

When they got there, Bam had already passed out, so Jezz volunteered to take him in despite the fact that he outweighed her by more than a few pounds. So, Jezz followed Ape through the house, up a flight of stairs, down a hall, and she dumped him on the bed. But before they walked out, Ape decided to put make up on her son's face...

In the end, his make-up looked like it might have been a five year-old's version of a clown, but the result was not what a sane adult might call accurate.

Both of Ape and Jezz got out of the room when he began to move around, smiling and barely making it downstairs before they began giggling.

A couple of hours later –at almost two in the morning- Ape and Phil had asked Jezz all the questions they could think of: and, satisfied, they went to bed, telling the girl she could just go ahead and sleep on the couch.

Ville had already passed out on the couch though, so Jezz went and sat on the corner of the living room. Crossing her legs and arms, she let herself fall into a light slumber.

* * *

"Who the fuck did this to my face?" Bam's yell brought Jezz out of her slumber.

Of course Ville, who slept not three feet away, was jerked awake, rolled over and he fell to the ground with a sound _thunk_.

"Uugghhh…' came Ville's voice.

Jezz stood up and walked towards him; crouching next to him and tapping him on the forehead, "need help kiddo?"

"I'm older than you, don't call me kiddo."

"When you start behaving a bit more responsibly, I'll stop. 'Kay kiddo?" she grinned. If the word ticked him off, she was going to use it as much as possible.

"'Least I didn't get arrested yesterday."

"No, you didn't, you just got shit-faced and passed out on the couch. Is that really much better? Besides, I told you I always found ways to get out of the cold," Jezz straightened up and held out her hand to help Ville to his feet.

"Hey! Who the fuck are you and did you do this to me!" Bam had skidded to stop a few feet away.

"Bam, this is the cellist we met at the park, yesterday, remember?" Ville spoke, barely keeping his voice straight.

"Huh? Oh, right, the chick that made Ape and Phil dance! Cool. So, did you do this to my face?"

The red eye shadow, bright pink lips, green blush, glittery mascara, and thick blue eyeliner had been smeared to horribly that –had she not actually helped Ape do everything- Jezz would not have known what went where.

Before she could get a hold of herself, a rich laughter ran away from her. She barely managed to force out the words, "I wish I could take the credit for that."

* * *

So, after hunting down everyone in the house, and interrogating them, Bam finally got a confession from Ape. He started ranting something about war, something about paintballs and shooting, and Jezz decided to put in her two cents, "so, does April's Little Helper get to play?"

"You said you didn't do anything!" Bam yelled. "Liar!"

"I said I wished I could take the credit. I can't, it was her idea; I just helped execute it. I didn't lie, you just didn't pay attention."

"Fine, you're on her team. Phil, did you have anything, **_anything_**, to do with this?" Bam rounded on his father.

"I didn't have anything to do with it." Phil responded.

"Too bad, you're on their team."

They started handing out equipment… well… they started handing out paintball guns.

"So, that's it?" Jezz asked, "One housewife/hairdresser, one man, and one girl who's never shot one of these things," she waved the paintball gun around, "in her life, against eight men? Alright, let's go, or should we wait for your balls to drop?"

A series of 'oooo's' and other mocking sounds and words came from the rest of the guys.

Ville though, the smartass, smoking drunk said, "I'll be on your team; I'd rather not shoot two women."

"So you'd rather hit seven?" Jezz asked, smirking.

Ville chuckled, "Hell hath no wrath…" he said in a sing-song voice.

"Alright pretty-boy; at least like this your fan girls won't be after my life when this is over."

* * *

**Team Bam:**

Bam (Victim)

DiCo (doesn't want Bam to shoot him)

Novak (Bam's life-partner)

Dunn (doesn't want to shoot the little girl, but doesn't want to get hit in the balls either)

Rake (already got hit on the balls)

Raab (has no idea what's going on)

**Other team:**

Ape (make-up artist)

Phil (stuck)

Ville (volunteered)

Jezz (accomplice of Make-up artist)

Jess (wants to shoot his little brother)

* * *

So it was decided that both teams would take off in opposite directions from the house. One team exited through the front, one through the back. The war would start thirty minutes after they left. There were paintballs of three different colors, green, yellow and pink; any one person must be shot once with each color to be considered 'out.'

* * *

"Alright," said Jess after they'd gotten about twenty feet in the woods, "I think this is far enough for now." Then he turned to Jezz, "Do you really not know how to shoot?"

She smiled innocently, "I never said that."

"Yeah you di- oh." Jezz turned his back to her and shot a paintball at a tree about twenty yards away, "can you get that?"

Now she all-out smirked, "sure, at this distance I could probably write your name." But she took aim, and hit a bull's eye without batting an eyelash. "I guess you and the rest of the guys were too drunk last night to remember Ville's attempt at second-hand story-telling."

"What d'ya mean?" he asked her, while next to him, Ville –who didn't, in fact, remember- turned to see Ape nod in agreement.

"For almost eight years, since 2000 I was a sniper for the U.S. Marines. So, while I have never in my life shot a paintball gun, I have used a gun before. And I must say I'm damn good."

So while Jess tried to get his jaw off the ground, the little, five-foot-five-inch tall girl started telling Ape and Phil what they needed to do, since they had rarely –if ever- shot any sort of gun before.

"Alright, do you guys think you can hit the same tree Jess made me hit?" both they and Ville failed, Jezz turned to Jess, "hey, if you got your tongue back in it's trap, do you think you can shoot the same spot twice?"

As it turned out, he could. So after a bit of explaining and discussing, the team decided that Ape, Phil and Ville would simply be extra eyes while Jezz and Jess would be the shooters.

"It's time." Said Jess.

Ape and Phil went with their son while Ville and Jezz stayed together. "Why are we separating again?" Ville asked.

"We're not exactly separating; Jess knows the land around here better than I do, so he's leading Ape and Phil who would only slow me –the better shooter- down. You and I, are going to tail them, if they run into someone, I'll be able to hit them. If we run into someone, Jess will leave his parents behind, circle around, and come help."

"Oh, so it's all a strategy?"

She turned and smiled at the man following her, and once again Ville was reminded of a predator by the look and color of her eyes, "that's the idea." She whispered in a low voice. "Now, if I say down, it'll mean that we're being followed. When I say it, you throw yourself behind a tree, in a ditch, into a bush, whatever. If I say hide, it means that we're following someone. If that's the case, get down on one knee at my shoulder, we're gonna have to take shots quickly until we hit them with all three colors."

Ville looked down at the girl, his brow furrowed.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"Are you psychic?" he asked.

"No but something's bothering you, what is it?" she said, somewhat amused.

"What if someone shoots uhm… the baby?" he asked.

"They won't."

"But if they do?"

"Hey, V?" Jezz whispered.

"Yeah?" Ville hissed back.

"Keep looking forward. Remember what I told you do if I said down?" she whispered.

"Yeah. Do I do it?"

"Not yet, we're coming up on a ditch, you're gonna dive in. We'll engage them after that. I'm gonna need you to be on the lookout for anyone coming from any other direction. Got it?"

Ville let his gaze wander until he saw the ditch Jezz was talking about. It wasn't so much a ditch as it was a depression on the ground, but since there was nothing else, he whispered, "Yeah," and got ready to jump.

"Down!"

And Ville jumped to his right –into the ditch- while Jezz dove to the left –behind a tree- and he began scanning the area around them. He saw Raab coming up behind Jezz, took aim, and pulled the trigger.

With a soft pop, the green paintball flew at Raab, hitting him on the leg and making him jump behind a tree. Ville kept an eye on the tree that he hid behind and continued to scan the area.

A loud "Fuck!" momentarily drew his attention to the battle going on somewhere behind him, until Rake's voice called out, "I'm out!" and the man began running back to the house.

Ville was about to burst out laughing at the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins when a hand suddenly covered his mouth. A few seconds later, he'd gotten a hold of himself and Jezz let him go.

'_Raab_,' he mouthed, pointing at the tree Raab had hidden behind.

Jezz smiled, looked over, and nodded.

They crept up on the tree, and from different sides, they jumped and pointed their guns at Raab; who was standing on one foot with his back to the tree, his paintball gun ten feet away.

"You'll take me prisoner and protect me from the Bad Bam?" he asked.

Jezz gasped and staggered back as if someone had just punched her in the stomach….

* * *

**_Five year ago. January 3rd 2003_**

_Morgan and Jezzika ran through the maze which had previously been a terrorists' hideout. Finally they found Brian Mackenzie, the six year old American boy who'd been kidnapped three weeks previous. They shot at the lock three times before it gave._

_Jezzika ran in… took the frightened light-skinned, blue-eyed child and then made her way back to Morgan. When they were no more than ten feet from the door, Brian turned to her and said, "You'll take me with you and protect me from the Bad Man, right?"_

_Jezzika only nodded and followed Morgan out the door._

* * *

Jezz came out of her daze after Ville shook her repeatedly.

She put her hand on his chest, right over his heart –which was beating at half the speed of hers- and began doing mental inventory, making sure she still had use of every joint, limb, all her fingers and toes, until finally her heartbeat slowed down to more-or-less, match Ville's.

"You alright Jay?" Ville asked her.

"Yeah, let's go. Where's Raab?"

"He's out."

Frowning, he followed her, making a mental note that he needed to get her to talk to him again after this game was over.

"V?" came her voice.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Under no circumstances, none whatsoever, will you jump in front of me if someone is shooting at me. Understand?"

_'Before the bullets could hit me, Morgan spun around and wrapped his arms around me. By the time I got my rifle and killed the enemy, Morgan had already started drowning… in his own blood._'Ville recalled that the person she'd cared about most in the world had done that, and died.

"I'm not Morgan, Jezzie."

She gave a dry apathetic laugh, "if you do the same thing and you get shot it won't matter. I still have nightmares about that. And if I have another episode, and think that someone's killed Morgan, I might just kill them. No, I _will_ kill them. And I don't think I could bear to have more blood on my hands."

Ville looked at the small woman walking in front of him. The pain it must have caused to her see her Morgan die. He tried to imagine how much it would hurt to see even his parents die like that, and even the thought of it made him want to retch. '_How did she survive?_' and right there Ville knew he wanted to learn more about the strength this child-size woman must posses. The determination, the stubbornness, the shear _will_ it must take for her to just open her eyes in the morning.

"You really can't just… start over?" he asked her, though they both knew he wouldn't jump in front of her.

She turned to him, and he saw the tears that filled her eyes. The wall was crumbling.

She turned back around and softly began to sing, "There is no turning back, from this unending path… of mine…."

And on and on she kept singing, after she was done with that one she began singing another one, "And love's light blue… led me to you…."

And she kept singing, mostly in English, some times in other languages. But she was a complete soldier. In less than an hour their team had gotten back together, having soundly beaten Bam.

Of course Bam began saying that Jezz had lied again, until Jess pointed out that had she hadn't. And while the siblings' argument led to a wrestling match, Ville led Jezz out to the deck but not before she grabbed her cello and violin cases, as well as a binder labeled "MUSIC STUFF"

* * *

Ville, at Jezz's request, went off to find a guitar.

"She's pretty frustrating, isn't she?"

Ville spun around so fast he fell over. "Hey Bam. You and Jess done?" Ville said from the floor, before Bam grabbed his hand and hauled him to his feet.

"Raab said she almost cried when he said something when you guys cornered him. What happened?"

Ville grabbed the guitar before walking out of the room, Bam right behind him. "She's a war veteran. He said something that triggered a flashback, or memory, or whatever those things are called."

"Why did you let her keep going?"

Ville rounded on his friend, "You think I had a choice? I'm not her keeper. I'm not her father; I don't know how I could've stopped her. All I know is that, before she had her little episode, she was having fun, and afterwards… ugh, I don't know, it was like… like it was a mission. Not like she was back in the war, but the look in her eyes… she was a soldier, totally, completely, 100% soldier. She wasn't trying to win, she was trying to survive and help her team survive." Abruptly, Ville turned away from Bam, whom he had backed to a corner, and walked out to the deck, where Jezz was sitting in a chair.

* * *

Jezz had her violin already in position when Ville came out and gave her the guitar.

"Do you remember when I told you that Mike died?"

"Just three days before he turned twenty-three, right?"

"I didn't tell you his birthday?"

"No."

"Michael Stevens was born in the year 1983, on February 18th."

"Oh."

"Do you know what today's date is?"

"Feb- - - today's the second year anniversary." Nothing else needed to be said.

"He had a girlfriend. Well, they were married, but we still called her his girlfriend.

"She was still a sophomore when the guys and I graduated, but they didn't meet until like four days or so before we left for the war. He was an orphan, so he asked if she would be his pen-pal, I guess. She was kinda geeky, but she had a pretty smile.

"About three years after we enlisted, we were given a short vacation. One month. Mike dragged us to a jewelry store, he bought a ring, and we all went with him when he proposed. They were officially married one week before we went back."

And even from where he was standing at her shoulder, Ville could tell she still blamed herself for her friends' deaths. But before he could say anything she began picking and strumming the introduction to a song. So he grabbed a chair and sat to her left, knowing that she was going to change from guitar to violin and ready to grab the guitar when needed.

* * *

"_Two Days past eighteen_

_He was waitin' for the bus in his army green_

_He sat down in a booth in a café there_

_Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair_

_He's a little shy, so she gave him a smile_

_And he said, 'would you mind sitting down for a while_

_And talking to me, I'm feelin' a little low'_

_She said, 'I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go'_

_So they went down and they sat on the pier_

_He said, 'I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care_

_I got know one, to send a letter to_

_Would you mind if I sent one back here to you?'_

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waiting for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end.

Waitin' for the soldier to comeback again

Nevermore to be alone, when the letter said,

A soldier's comin' home

_So the letters came from an army camp_

_In California then from Iraq_

_And he told her of his heart_

_How it might be love and all of the things_

_He was so scared of_

_He said, 'when it's getting' kinda rough over here_

_I think of that time sitting down at the pier_

_And I close my eyes, and I see your pretty smile_

_Don't worry but I won't be able to write for a while'_

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waiting for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end.

Waitin' for the soldier to comeback again

Nevermore to be alone, when the letter said,

A soldier's comin' home"

* * *

Jezz paused her singing for a few moments, but kept bringing music to life with her violin for a short while before putting down her bow and moving on to the guitar; strumming and picking at it. And Ville, and everyone else who'd moved to the deck after hearing the girl, heard the choked, half-gasp for air.

* * *

_One Friday night at a football game_

_The Lord's Prayer said and the anthem sang_

_A man said, 'Folks, would you bow your heads_

_For a list of local… war dead.'_

_Crying all alone under the stands_

_Was a piccolo player in the marching band_

_And one name read but nobody really cared  
but a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair_

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waiting for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end.

Waitin' for the soldier to comeback again

Nevermore to be alone, when the letter said,

A soldier's comin'

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waiting for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end.

Waitin' for the soldier to comeback again

Nevermore to be alone, when the letter said,

A soldier's comin' home

* * *

And she took the bow and drew across the strings for a few seconds –enough time for Ville to look at Bam and motion for him to get closer, and take the guitar when Ville handed it to him- then the dam crumbled.

She bowed her head as the bow glided over the strings one last time. She barely managed to get up, she walked to the table, tears streaming down her face. She set down her violin and bow, and fell to her knees; wrapping her arms around herself, as though she might fall apart if someone were not to physically hold her together.

Ville cautiously walked closer to her, kneeled beside her, and only then did he hear her whispers, '_I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry_.' Over and over she said it.

'_Guess even her strength had to run out_,' Ville thought somewhere in the back of his head. And he wrapped his arms around her, only vaguely aware that Ape was crying somewhere behind him, as he pulled the girl to his chest, '_why the hell is_ she_ crying? She's not the one in pain_.' But then the memory of how just _thinking _of losing someone had left him short of breath, with a lump the size of his fist in his throat and a get-wrenching need to have everyone he cared about within arm's reach for the rest of forever. Then he tried to think of what it must feel like to never be able to see them again, to watch his parents, his friends... die. To have been responsible, even if not directly so, for their deaths, '_it's not her fault!_' he yelled at himself… '_But she thinks differently_,' a more taunting, cruel version of his voice came back. To feel responsible, how many people would have killed themselves by now? To have lost them? No… '_What bothers her probably isn't that they died. It's that she didn't._'

'_Why doesn't she end it herself then?_'

'_The promise? No, there's no way that one promise would be enough to make her keep going; not when it does this to her._'

'_The baby? She already said that she would kill for her friends. And when she's spoken about the baby she seems to love it more because it's Morgan's than because it's hers._'

She turned around and sobbed into his shirt, her right hand now fisted over her heart, while her left remained wrapped around her torso.

'_Oh, gods…_' it clicked in his mind, '_she keeps on going to punish herself? She thinks it's her fault, and she deserves the pain._'

Ville held onto her, putting more strength into his grip; shutting his eyes tightly when he felt them begin to sting. Her body shook with the force of her sobs, and he tightened his grip yet again, until he felt her heart slow and her breathing become steady. She was asleep.

He stood up with her in his arms and walked past everyone, once again motioning for Bam to follow. They needed to talk.


	3. Sweet Remembrances

Disclaimer: it's in the first chappie.

**_This Path, My Path_**

**Chapter 3: Sweet Remembrances**

**By: Anaea**

* * *

**_Three Days Later_**

It was still a few hours before dawn when Jezzika awoke with a start. It hadn't been a nightmare that brought her out of her slumber. No creepy-crawly feeling, no chill down the spine. She just woke up.

But as soon as she did she knew why. It was time to move on. And Jezzika stood up, knowing that there was no point in delaying the inevitable. She didn't bother turning on the lights of the room Bam had let her use, she could see just fine.

She moved around, picking up and packing up her belongings, straightening up. Finally, she was satisfied that everything was as it should be.

She slung her duffel bag over her shoulder, and –carrying her cello and fiddle- she walked out of the room and about twenty minutes later, out of the house.

* * *

_Morgan sat on the end of the couch, his faded, light blue jeans a bit too tight on him but still comfortable. He had dark skin. All those years of helping Jezzie and her dad at the ranch had left his skin darker in some places than others. His white cowboy hat sat on his boots which were propped up on the coffee table in front of him. His hands, behind his head, fingers interlaced, helped keep his too-tired head up. His arms, thick with much more muscle than any of his friends, seemed to be complaining inside his shirt. But his baby-blue eyes, half-hidden behind drooping eyelids were bright as ever. And light brown eyebrows furrowed in an effort to keep the light out of his eyes, were the same color as his hair, though much less sweaty._

_A sniffle drew his attention to the girl who lay next to him, her head on his thigh while she watched the movie he was pretending to watch with her._

_'_Uh-oh_,' Morgan turned his eyes to the TV and saw that –of course- the cowboy, hero of the movie, was riding off into the sunset. Morgan untangled his hands and reached over to get a tissue for her, which were always conveniently placed right next to the couch –Jezzie's mom knew she liked watching sad movies._

_After getting the tissue, Morgan passed it from his left hand to his right and began drying up his best friend's cheeks; all the while rolling his eyes at her… of course, if she saw him, he'd deny it._

_"You know, I really need to make you stop watching these movies," he whispered._

_"Hah! As if you could!" she immediately jumped to her feet and punched him in the arm, running out of the room yelling, "You're it!"_

_Morgan let out the breath he'd been holding with a huff. And, grudgingly getting to his feet, he ejected the movie and set it in the rewinding contraption next to the TV, and walked in the direction that he thought he heard Jezzie running in._

_Jezzie, meanwhile, had already run out of the house, out to the barn and was saddling up two of the horses._

_Spotted Patch, the solid black British Warmblood, was Jezzie's first horse, and she loved her._

_But they did look strange though, since Patch stood at a whopping sixteen and a half hands while Jezzie had been just four inches about five-foot-nothing for the past three years._

_Morgan finally made it out of the house… just in time for Jezz to call him over… she couldn't get on._

_Laughing, he went and gave her a leg up. "Maybe I should build you a stool." She blushed in embarrassment._

_"Shut up you idiot, I got Rayne saddled up too, go get him."_

_That shut him up. Rayne, the Dartmoor pony, not only measured an even ten hands, which looked just plain stupid against Morgan's six-foot-three; it was also the only pony he couldn't stand… mostly because the pony couldn't stand him._

_"You're joking," he said._

_She quirked an eyebrow, letting her lower lip quiver, and whispered, "No."_

_He was about to give her a solid N-O but when he looked her in the eye, he saw her eyes full to the brim with tears. He scowled, "You're doing that on purpose."_

_Her tone of voice stayed the same, sad and trembling, but she said, "Is it working?"_

_Morgan bowed his head, he'd been beat. He knew that. She knew that. "Fine, I'll ride the damn thing."_

_"Hey! Don't use that kind of language in front of a lady!" She yelled at his retreating form. Patch snorted, either sarcastically or in agreement… or maybe there was a fly in her nose…._

_"Alright, Sailor, 'soon as you see a Lady, lemme know."_

_She was still cursing at him when he came back out._

_Regardless, they both had fun. Except when Rayne decided he didn't want to walk anymore and he sat down, landing Morgan on his back. So Jezzie and Morgan rode together on Patch, dragging Rayne along._

_That night, when Jezzie walked Morgan out to the gates, he turned and kissed her lightly on the lips, "See you tomorrow, Sweetheart." And he ran all the way home._

_Later, Jezzie –face as red as a cherry- walked into her room, closed and locked the door, and was unable to fall asleep until two hours before sunrise._

* * *

"Bam!"

Bam tried to jump off his bed, only to find out his legs were tangled on the sheets, and went tumbling to the ground.

"Ugghh… what?" About six arms hauled him to his feet and helped him untangle himself.

"MTV's here already, they want to start filming already," Rake said.

"Uhhh, I kinda, sorta, maybe, uhh, may have run into the Lambo." Came Raab's voice.

"Ape and Phil left just now," said Novak.

"And so did Ville and Dunn," finished DiCo.

Bam scowled at Rake when he spoke, all-out glared at Raab when he did, paled slightly when Novak did, and jumped to his feet as soon as DiCo had said his part.

Then he saw that the cameras were already filming him. '_Damn it_,' he thought.

"Why'd they all leave?" he asked DiCo.

"'Cause Jezz ran away?"

"Man, she's a fucking _traveling_ musician. It makes sense that she would leave."

"Well, tell that to your Mom. She woke up and went to look for her but she was already gone, so she went and dragged Phil out of bed. That woke up Ville, and he woke up me and Dunn, but I didn't feel like going to look for her," replied DiCo, walking after Bam.

Bam had pulled a shirt over his head and slipped his feet into a pair of shoes since he'd fallen asleep with his jeans on. Then he turned to the cameras.

* * *

"Well, looks like four people ran away, so we're gonna go hunt them down." Then he turned back to his friends, who were following him. "DiCo, Raab, you two stay here. The rest of you, get in the Hummer and the Mercedes, we're gonna go look for them. Rake, go wake up Jess."

Everyone moved to do as he ordered, DiCo and Raab stayed close to him, "What are we gonna do?"

"Coordinate the search. That fucking girl is like the daughter Ape and Phil never had, and Ville got attached to her way too much, she's like his new best friend." He walked down to the pirate bar and saw that there were aluminum-wrapped packages on the counter; probably bacon-and-egg burritos or something.

Ten minutes later, Rake came and told him that the cars were ready.

Jess and Rake took the Mercedes while Bam and Novak took the Hummer and they left the house.

* * *

_A small second grader sat alone in the playground, her eyes puffy and her nose red and runny. Her blue dress and white shirt stained with green and brown from the muddy grass that she'd been shoved into by a fourth grader._

_She was now sitting next to the door of her classroom, waiting for recess to be over so she could be under the watchful eye of her caring teacher, Mrs. Richards._

_"Hey," she flinched as a boy's voice called out somewhere to her right._

_She hugged her knees tighter, burying her face in them._

_When she felt someone's fingers poking her shoulder she gave a little whimper, trying and failing to curl up even more._

_"Hey," the boy whispered, "why are you all dirty? Did you fall?"_

_The little girl didn't say anything, just chanted the phrase her Mother had whispered into her ear just this morning, 'No one can make you feel small, unless you let them.' But… the phrase didn't help and the little girl didn't know how to make friends here. She missed her old home._

_"Hey," the boy whispered, "its okay you know? Everyone falls; you just have to get up again. Here." The boy gave her a tissue, tucking it into her arms, which were not letting go of her legs._

_Finally the girl looked up, only to look into his eyes and tuck her head back into her knees with a squeak._

_"Aw, come on, I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise I won't bite," he coaxed._

_Slowly the girl began raising her head, until she was able to look at the boy again, though she still kept her body hunched over, so as not to draw any attention to herself._

_"See, now that wasn't so bad," the boy said. He smiled at her, "What are you doing outside my mom's classroom?"_

_The girl blinked, "What?" she whimpered._

_"Oh, right," he gave her a wide grin and raised one hand to scratch the back of his head, "Guess I forgot," he chuckled, "I'm Richards, Morgan Richards the Third. But I just go by Morgan, or Morg… oh, hehe, guess I'm getting carried away, what's your name?"_

_"J—Jez-zi-kah… My name is Jezzika Jones." She replied in a whisper._

_"Heh, I like you name, I always wanted my name to be Jess, but I guess if it had been, I might still want a different name." Morgan grinned again. "Oh, right, so what are you doing over here all alone?"_

_"A boy pushed me… that's why I'm all dirty…"_

_"What!" Morgan jumped to his feet so quickly that he frightened the girl into imitating an armadillo again. Morgan took one look at her and kneeled next to her again, "oh, sorry, hey, hey, you alright, I'm sorry. Do you remember who hurt you?"_

_The girl didn't look up, and recoiled when Morgan touched her shoulder, but she managed to shake her head._

_Before she could tell what had happened, Morgan had pulled her to her feet, "come with me." He said._

_Jezzika closed her eyes and shook her head, frozen._

_Morgan frowned. They stayed like that a moment before he let go of her hands, gave her a grin and held out his right pinky, "I promise I'll take care you, 'kay, Jezzie?"_

_Eying him with narrowed eyes, she didn't answer immediately, but his smile didn't falter. So, cautiously, Jezzika extended her pinky and hooked it around his._

* * *

Dunn, at Ville's command, made his way to the local police station, '_ah, the memories_.'

As soon as they were close enough, Ville, jumped out of the car, not waiting for Dunn to park the car, yelling, "Stay!"

"Yeah, okay Ville, I'd love to stay here like a good girl. Buttwipe," Dunn muttered under his breath.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Ville came running out, clutching a map, and about thirty hot-off-the-printer pages. He jumped into the car, "Springfield," he said, lighting up a cigarette.

Dunn pulled out of the parking space, taking out his cell phone at the same time. Dialing Ape's phone number, he relayed the news, and took off.

Just as he was merging into the highway that would take him to Springfield, this phone began ringing.

"Hey, what's up?"

"What the fuck do you mean 'what's up,' where the hell are you? What about Ape and Phil? And Ville!" Bam yelled.

"Why, thanks Bam, I'm doing fine this lovely morning. Ville and I are on our way to Springfield, I called Ape and Phil like ten minutes ago, there headed there too."

"So you know where she's headed?"

"Ville went to the cop station, since she gets herself arrested almost every night he figured it'd be the best place to start. Now, from what I can see, he's got her whole trip in his hands, literally. You joining us?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna call DiCo. He and Raab stayed behind, to organize this whole thing… but, I guess they didn't really need to. Do you have any idea where we should start looking?"

"Hold on," Dunn turned to Ville, who was lighting up his last cigarette, "hey, Ville, do you know where we should start searching?"

"Parks. She told me that she always plays in the most beautiful park she can find." Then he whispered to himself, "Said it's a beautifully grotesque contrast to the life she's known for such a long time."

While Ville rambled on, Dunn told Bam: and Bam, in return, said he'd get DiCo and Raab to make a list of all the parks in Springfield.

* * *

Jezz slowly walked towards the church. Today was Sunday, so she had to go to church, and something in her mind –well, her friends really- had tugged her in this direction. Even after she'd lost Mike, Richy and Morgan, she still spoke to them. And she had known them so well while they'd been with her, that, even though they were physically absent, she knew exactly how they'd react or respond to things she did and said, that she could still have conversations with them. She tried not to do it in public too much, mostly because people would avoid her and then she'd be unable to spread her story.

But regardless, she walked into the church, asking the preacher –Reverend Joshua Wood- if there was a place where she could put her things.

He asked her if she'd be willing to accompany the choir and, of course, she accepted.

The church was small, the kind of church that people attend because everyone in their families has attended for the past five generations; where everybody knew everyone.

After the service, many people had asked her about her travels, and she told her story twice.

Although the Reverend spoke to her and tried to make her see that what happened to her friends wasn't her fault, she shot down every single one of his attempts. She knew it wasn't her fault that they died. She didn't blow up Mike's head with 5 rounds of ammunition. She didn't bring down Richy's chopper with a .50 caliber round. And she didn't fire 17 rounds of ammunition into Morgan's body. But she was the reason that they'd become soldiers.

So while she hadn't been the one to end their lives, she had been the one who began the chain reaction which resulted in their deaths.

Just like she knew she was partially and indirectly at fault for the Lamb having been sacrificed, she also knew was indirectly and mostly at fault for her friends dying.

Later, Jezz made her way to a park that one of the members of the church had recommended.

* * *

"Alright, this is the first park on our list," Dunn said as he and Ville got out of the car.

Dunn hadn't taken two steps when Ville spoke, "it's not this one," and got back in the car.

Dunn huffed, but Ville had spoken a lot to Jezz, so he probably knew a lot more about this than he did. Dunn got in the car and they went off to the next one.

Ville finally liked the third. They searched everywhere, and asked everyone that met if they'd seen a girl with a green duffel bag, a cello and a violin. Ville went and asked some of the children in the playground and one of them told him that she'd seen a girl like that, who called herself the Fiddler, at church. But when then she'd gone to a park on the other side of town.

Ville thanked the girl and called Dunn's cell, telling him to head back to the car; Jezz wasn't here.

When they were both in the car, and Ville had told Dunn what the kid said, Dunn called April, Bam, and then Jess and told all the drivers what Ville had found out, none of them really wanted to take a kid's word for it, so they'd keep going down their lists, and Ville and Dunn would go check it out.

"Stay."

Dunn's protest was cut off when Ville slammed the door shut and proceeded to stomp towards the park.

* * *

Jezz set up her Cello, and left the case open at her feet.

She'd played Travelin' Soldier already; in memory of Mike. People passed by, but steered clear of her. She'd played Bach's 5th cello suite; because Morgan liked it. And Hallelujah, for Richy, he'd been such a gentleman than certain… verses had made him blush.

And after another five or so pieces and over an hour of playing, her cello case was still empty. And so was her stomach.

She sighed; she was really starting to miss West Chester. But she missed her boys even more. And it was her fault that they'd died. Being alone and lonely for the rest of her life was as just a punishment as she cold get.

'_You know, the guys would throttle you if they heard you think that_,' a voice in her head that sounded an awful lot like Morgan.

'_I wouldn't complain_,' she thought.

The voice left her, and suddenly, Jezz felt a cold like never before. Tears came to her eyes but she held them back. '_Cowgirls don't cry,_' her father's words came to her.

'_Kinda too late for that daddy, but I'll try my best from now on,_' she thought in return.

She put the cello back in its case and got her violin again and played a few measures before starting the new song:

* * *

_Her daddy gave her, her first pony_

_Then taught her to ride_

_She climbed high in that saddle_

_Fell I don't know how many times_

_Taught her a lesson that she learned_

_Maybe a little too well_

Cowgirls don't cry

Ride, baby, ride

Lessons in life are gonna show you in time

Soon enough, you're gonna know why

It's gonna hurt every now and then

If you fall get back on again

Cowgirls don't cry

_She grew up, she got married_

_Never was quite right_

_She wanted a house, a home, and babies_

_He started coming home late at night_

_She didn't let him see it break her heart_

_She didn't let him see her fall apart_

'Cause Cowgirls don't cry

Ride, baby, ride

Lessons in life gonna show you in time

Soon enough, you're gonna know why

It's gonna hurt every now and then

If you fall get back on again

Cowgirls don't cry

_Phone rang early one morning_

_Her momma's voice, she'd been crying_

_Said, "It's your daddy, you need to come home_

_This is it, I think he's dying."_

_She lay the phone down by his head_

_The last words that he said_

Cowgirls don't cry

Ride, baby, ride

Lessons in life show us all in time

Too soon God'll let you know why

If you fall get right back on

Good Lord calls everybody home

Cowgirls don't cry

* * *

A man came up to her just then and sat down next to her. He put an arm on the back of the bench and spoke to her, "So you've learned not to cry."

She turned to look at him, "I try not to. But it's hard sometimes."

"What do you mean?"

"I've done some bad things in my life. And done some other that led to bad things. And some that led to worse. Sometimes I think that… maybe, there's a way for me to make up for them. But, every time I set out to try, I instead am reminded of the people who can't do anything anymore, because of what I've done. And every time, I give up before I can even begin. Because no matter what I try to do, I deserve the pain… and it tears my heart up every time."

"It's kind of sad for someone so young to think like that."

"Sometimes, age should not be measured by years."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. But young people shouldn't be forced to grow up as suddenly as you seem to have."

"Yes, I agree with you on that point. But I made the decision to grow up. I can't just say that I want a do-over, because there's always someone who has it worse."

"Well, anyone can have it worse. You aren't them, and they aren't you. So you don't have their strengths or weaknesses, nor do they have yours."

"Yes, I suppose you're right."

With that, Jezz began playing her violin again.

"Paganini?" the man asked.

"Yes. The 24th." She answered.

Eventually the man moved on. And not even one minute had passed when the silhouette of another man appeared in the distance. This one though, she knew. But before she could call out to him the same man from before came back… with a gun.

"Alright, you're gonna come with me."

Jezz blinked, "excuse me?"

"You heard me, Bitch! Come!"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Ville had had enough sense to stay put, he seemed to be talking on his cell phone. She relaxed a bit.

Jezz calmly put her violin away and stood up.

She approached the man slowly… at first, but she stopped. "So, do I get to know where I'm going and why?"

"It doesn't matter, now get over here!"

"Actually, it does matter, because if you tell us where you take all the girls you've abducted, it'll save me and my buddies down at the station a lot of trouble; as well as my buddies right behind you of course." Jezz gave him a grin, her eyes flickering over his shoulder.

The man couldn't help it, his head turned swiftly and at that moment Jezz moved grabbing his right hand –which held the gun- with her left and pulled. Then, driving her right elbow and then her knee into his stomach she sent him tumbling to the ground. She put her knee on the middle of his back, and twisted his arm behind him until he let go of the gun.

"And here I thought snipers weren't any good at hand-to-hand," Ville's voice called.

She looked his way and saw him approaching with six cops and most of the CKY crew.

"That wasn't the Sniper in me, pretty-boy."

The police handcuffed the man and dragged him to his feet. "How the hell did this happen?" he yelled, glaring at Jezz.

She shrugged. How the hell was she supposed to know who this man was?

"You! You said that I kidnapped girls, you're the first one!"

"Huh? Oh! Whoops, that was a bluff. Most people hate being blamed for things they haven't done."

Jezz went and sat down again, took out her violin and began playing again.

"What, you're not going to say hi?" Ville asked her, taking a seat next to her.

"Hi," she spoke dryly

"You know, you could've left a note, or something." Now Ville was just sulking.

Jezz gave him a grin, and then, when she turned away, she saw Bam, Dunn, and almost everyone else headed their way, and they were being tailed by cameras. "You didn't check your pockets then?" she giggled.

Ville's face flushed and he dug around in his pockets, and once everyone else had congregated around them, he read:

"Hey, V

I'm gonna go bye-bye now.

Tell Raab and Novak the muffins they wanted are in the fridge now.

Uhhh… yeah, so it was nice talking to you… you need to learn to shoot though

Uhm… right, well see ya, if you wanna talk… or whatever

Call me [XXX-XXX-XXXX]

-Jezz, the Fiddler"

He turned to Jezz, "Maybe I should've taped it to your forehead," she mused.

"Dude, when'd you put that in his pocket?" asked Bam.

"'Bout two minutes before I left."

"So you made the muffins?" Novak asked.

"Yeah."

"How many and which kinds?"

"Two berry; two chocolate chip; two chocolate chunk; two banana nut; two banana cream and two fudge," By the time she was done speaking Novak was dialing a phone number on his cell.

"Dude, that's a lot of fucking muffins." Jess said.

"Uhm, yeah, guess it is," Jezz grinned. And with that she turned to April and answered her questions about why she left, and a number of other things.

* * *

Two hours later, they were once again on their way back to Bam's house, Dunn and Ville filled Jezz in on the way that Bam had filmed a show called Viva La Bam while Jezz had been at war, and MTV had approached him not too long after his honey moon –she hadn't even known he'd been married, so she just smiled and nodded- and asked him if he'd be willing to make another couple of seasons. He said yes, obviously.

So now there was a camera man beside Jezz, a sound guy and there was a camera mounted on the dash board of the car. Splendid.

So yes, in case you didn't know, Ape managed to make her come back… after plenty of crying and sobbing into her shoulder, Jezz decided that if she didn't make her stop crying, Morgan would come back from the dead and kill her… ugh… but she still don't think it's a good idea.

Part of Jezz loved that Ape and Phil and Dunn, and Ville and everyone actually _wanted_ her back, but, at the same time, she knew she would have to leave again eventually, and the longer she stayed, the harder it would be to leave again when the time came.


	4. Third Time's the charm?

Disclaimer: it's in the first chappie.

**_This Path, My Path_**

**Chapter 4: Third Time's the charm?**

**By: Anaea**

* * *

That night, there was a 'meeting.' Basically, everyone sat around in the dining room while Bam told them all what was what. No cameras, no sound guys, no nothing.

Of course, Ville and Ape elbowed Jezz and Dunn hit her head from behind, just before Bam called the meeting over. When she stubbornly remained silent, Ville spoke for her, good thing too because the only thing stopping her from saying anything was all the people who'd be staring at her.

"Jezz won't be able to participate in most of the stunts, or things like that; she's three –almost four- months pregnant."

By the way everyone including Phil blinked; it seemed quite safe to bet that no one else had known.

Bam looked Jezz for a few seconds, paling. "You were pregnant while we were shooting at you with paintballs!" he almost yelled.

Jezz slumped down on her seat, "yes," she said meekly.

Bam glared at her and turned to everyone else, "How many of you guys knew!" he yelled.

Only Dunn, Ape and, of course, Ville knew. And after a few minutes of berating Ville, since he'd know the longest, Bam ordered all of everyone to go to bed, saying he would wake them all up at the 'butt-crack-of-dawn.'

* * *

Of course, ever since the military discharged her, Jezz had had a problem with people telling her what to do… so… at a 3:45 am she woke up Ville, Phil, Ape and Jess, and they all made breakfast… good breakfast for themselves… and not-so-good breakfast for Bam and everyone who'd been on Bam's team in the paintball war...

No one but them and the camera crew knew of what we were doing though.

* * *

For three days Jezz watched the boys bully and prank and otherwise pick on each other. It'd been an entire week since she'd come to West Chester for the first time. And even though she loved it –now that it wasn't snowing every darn day- her heart ached every night: she thought of having to leave and felt a horrible ache in her chest. It wasn't unbearable, but it did leave her gasping for air and her eyes prickling with unshed tears.

But she refused to cry, which meant that she was restless, tired, and moody. She was able to control herself while she was around others, but she would flee to the roof every few hours with her violin and sing a few verses of songs which no one understood but everyone was now quite fond of.

A few days later -ten days after Jezz had arrived at West Chester and six after she'd begun staying at 'Castle Bam.' MTV had everything they needed and Bam said there'd be a two day break and then they'd start filming again.

Jezz approached Ville later that night and asked to speak with him so they walked to the deck and then climbed onto the roof. It wasn't a life-or-death, what's-the-meaning-of-life, or otherwise important question, they just went to the roof when they wanted to talk, especially since the pranksters had started filming.

"So, do you think you can teach me Finnish?" she asked him.

He already knew she spoke more than just English, so when he spoke it wasn't a definite answer. "What language can you teach me?"

She smirked, "English," she said.

"Or… what are my other choices?"

She looked up to the Moon, but the half shadow-covered face remained silent. "Spanish, Italian, French, Russian… uhm… I'm learning Welsh, and I know some Farsi."

"You should be a flight attendant," he said with much sarcasm.

"Uh-huh, so will you?"

"I need to go have a word with Bam first." And he got up and left.

'_Uh-oh… uhmmm…_' Jezz was unable to figure out if Ville's talk with Bam would be a good thing or a bad thing. '_If I get pranked tomorrow because of him I will seriously spit in his food…_'

And with that she left, there were some cookies in the oven that she needed to take care of. This pregnancy was giving her cravings for very yummy food… for the smell; if she ate it, it all came back up.

* * *

A few days later, everyone save Novak –who apparently couldn't leave the country-, and DiCo, who didn't want to go, was boarding a plane to Mexico...

"So, Bam, why exactly are we going to Mexico so close to summer?" Jezz questioned Bam, who was sitting in front of her on the plane.

Next to her Don Vito began speaking… or… attempting to speak, she was still unable to understand anything he said, or yelled.

"Because now we have our own personal translator person… keep Vito company," he said in return from his spot beside Missy, his wife.

As much as Jezz disliked the man's eye and the way it didn't move away from her chest regardless of whom he spoke to, she disliked that Bam made her sit next to him more. But she didn't say anything because 1.) She didn't pay for the plane that was taking them to Mexico, 2.) She would not give him the satisfaction of getting to her and 3.) Revenge is sweet.

So for the next couple of hours she and Vito plotted their revenge on Bam. But eventually the man nodded off and Jezz decided to go hide out in the rest room.

* * *

Everyone got off of the plane and began making their way across the runway to find the bus that DiCo had said he'd arrange for them.

They'd barely managed to convince Jezz to leave behind her cello, but although she agreed that the bigger instrument would be too much of a hassle to lug around in summer-time Mexico, she absolutely refused to part with both the violin and cello. So, as they walked she pulled it out and began playing; now only singing in Spanish.

"Si te vienen a contar cositas malas de mi, manda a todos a volar…" she began.

"Well, I suppose Spanish is better than the Finnish we had to listen to last time we were here," Ape whispered to Phil, who merely nodded in agreement.

Ville, who'd chosen to learn Spanish from Jezz –who decided to teach him Spanish music before anything else- hummed along, sometimes letting a few heavily accented words slip from his lips.

* * *

**Day One**

So, after finding the Bus –which Bam only believed was the right bus after making Jezz double-, triple-, and quadruple- check- the gang rode in relative silence to the hotel.

Also, Bam decided that perhaps visiting Mexico in the summer was not one of his best ideas. Ville was sweating bullets since he'd never been in a place this hot before.

When they got to the Hotel, everyone sped up to get to the bar.

* * *

**Day Four**

After way too much drinking for three days straight, Bam, Raab, Jess, Rake, Ville and Dunn were a beginning to move very sluggishly through the hotel room. While they nursed their constant hangovers most of the others went to the beach.

Jezz went to the balcony of the room and began playing once the sun began to set.

* * *

**Day Seven**

Well, Bam decided to prank anyone and everyone for the past three days, but hadn't noticed that his clothes had begun disappearing… until the morning of the seventh day they'd been in Mexico when he discovered that all he had left were one pair of boxer shorts and a Hillary Duff T-shirt.

He yelled and interrogated, and screamed, and whined, but no one was able to tell him.

Jezz and Ville were now talking to each other in different languages; Ville only speaking to Jezz in Finnish and Jezz only speaking to Ville in Spanish.

* * *

**Day Twelve**

Two days before they headed back to the U.S. of A. Bam's clothes appeared, all embroidered with the words "_Mi pene__ es muy chiquito_."

Needless to say, when Jezz translated it Bam was not too happy. It meant, "I have a _Very_ small manhood."

* * *

**Day Thirteen**

Well, Jezz found a man who let her ride one of the horses in his ranch, and Ape had a cow when she saw the girl whose belly was now quite noticeable at a four-and-a-half-month pregnancy.

So Jezz got off the horse, walked it back where they'd come from and -after they were out of view- she mounted and went on her way. This was the last full day they'd be in Mexico and, according to Bam, there was enough footage of Mexico for two episodes: not to mention they had made another one when Jezz had left back in West Chester.

She kept riding the horse for almost an hour, and then she went and took him back to his owner and walked back to the Hotel.

She was about a quarter-mile from the hotel, when she heard a familiar voice coming from the _Cantina _across the street. Jezz followed her ears which followed the deep baritone voice, which was currently butchering a song by Vicente Fernandez. She went inside.

By the looks of things even the other drunks were pretty close to their breaking point, so Jezz went to the corner where Ville, Bam, Raab, Rake, and Dunn were seated. "Hey, Ville, come with me." She said in English, mostly because there was no way he'd understand anything if she spoke in Spanish.

A few minutes later Jezz stumbled out of the bar, Ville in tow. They weren't twenty feet away from the bar when Bam and the rest of the guys were shoved and thrown out. A few of the cameramen –who'd gone to the bar as well, since the filming was finished- followed them out.

Half an hour later everyone was back in the hotel room, most of the guys were passed out and everyone who was still awake was packing up so that they wouldn't have to in the morning.

* * *

Getting the guys to wake up was… quite a hassle, in the end Jezz, Ape, Phil, Vito, Jess and Rake decided to flip over Dunn's bed; dump water on Raab; put head phones on Ville and blast Slayer; and tie a rubber snake to a stick, and move it around Bam, while shaking a baby rattle.

* * *

As great as waking up everyone had been –Dunn freaked out, Raab almost slept through it, Ville jumped five feet in the air and Bam and Missy ran away screaming- Jezz, and all the other Waker-Uppers ran –or waddled in Vito's case- out to the bus which was going to take them to the airport so that they wouldn't get pranked.

About two hours after they'd taken off a phone started ringing and after everyone had checked their phones they looked around and saw that Jezz was the one speaking into one. But she spoke too fast for them to understand, but she was angry and upset throughout the conversation and near tears at the end.

She hung up the phone and gave a heavy sigh; seemingly unaware of the people around her who'd been trying to eavesdrop.

She reached under her seat and brought her violin case to her lap and began stroking it gently as though it were a sleeping puppy.

A few minutes later she was playing "Nearer My God to Thee" humming the vocals as well.

Ville approached her and waited until she was done before speaking to her, "What was that about?"

She jumped a bit, "That was Mike's wife: she's the only person other than you, who has that number. She says my mother went and tried to get my number from her, and when she couldn't she asked her to pass a message along." Jezz looked out the window and resumed her playing. "She said that my mother said that her husband wants me to come back. He's dying and wants to make things right."

Ville and the other passengers exchanged looks, while Jezz ignored them, shutting her eyes.

"Are you going to go?"

She sighed, "Should I? He hasn't spoken to me in eight years, that's nearly one third of my life, gone. I went to him, more than willing to admit that I'd been terribly wrong, and he gave me the boot even more soundly than the military did."

Ville took a deep breath, the next thing he said would either make her go see her father, or hate him for bring up something like that. "So," he said indifferently, taking a seat next to her completely aware that everyone one the plane, even Vito, was watching them. "Mike, Richy and your Father; you regret not having been there for your friends when they died, and yet you're going to let it happen again."

With a shriek like a banshee, two of the stings on the violin snapped. One of them recoiled so swiftly that the ends opened the skin on Jezz's fingers and her cheek.

She stood up and stepped around Ville, dropped the violin and bow on his lap and went to the back of the plane and in to the rest room. Everyone held their breath until she came back; Ville kept looking forward, his face blank, his body tense.

He jumped slightly when her hand descended on his shoulder.

"Thanks." She said simply, and went to the back of the plane, away from everyone and sat alone for the rest of the trip.

* * *

A few days later, after Ape made her swear to return, Jezz stepped into the car her Mother had sent for her. The driver closed the door and minutes later they were on their way.


	5. Back in Texas

Disclaimer: it's in the first chappie.

**_This Path, My Path_**

**Chapter 5: Back in Texas**

**By: Anaea**

* * *

Jezz stepped into the house. She hadn't been inside in eight years, yet nothing had changed. The deep, red-brown wood floor; the Persian rug that covered much of it; the white washed walls; the entrance hall remained unchanged.

To her right, the living area also stood unmarred in the passage of time. Dark green walls and coffee-colored furniture made the place seem like a forest when Jezz had been a child. The bay window and the mocha-colored Cleopatra beside it had been secretly hers. The bookshelves at the far end of the room, she saw, still held her books in the bottom shelf, but dust had begun settling on them.

To her left, a door blocked her view of the formal dining room. A hallway to up the right side of the hall she stood in, and stairs the left. She went towards the stairs and noted that now it took fifteen steps to get there, as opposed to the eighteen she'd needed the last time she'd been here.

Her Mother waited for her at the top of the stairs, but Jezz noticed that her breath caught slightly when her eyes landed on Jezz's belly. But she was uncertain whether her mother's gesture had been a good one or a bad one.

At nearly five months, the belly refused to hide any longer and was currently showing itself through the dark blue Element shirt Bam had let Jezz borrow, since most of her shirts were a bit too uncomfortable.

"Welcome Back, Jezzie," Her mother said after kissing her prodigal child.

"Hi Mum. It's Jezz now." Jezz said embracing her Mother in return.

* * *

When Jezzika had been a child she'd announced to her parents that she wanted to be called Jay-zika. And for two years her parents either called her Jay-zika or were corrected by the girl.

When she'd met Morgan for the first time, he'd called her Jezzie. And that very day, when she got home, she told her parents that her name was going to be Jezzie.

For nineteen years, she'd been Jezzie. And when Morgan died, Jezzie died with him.

Now she was Jezz. And she hoped that she would never have to change her name again.

* * *

"Hello, I'm Jezzika Richards-Jones; I'm here to visit John Philip Jones." Jezz said to the nurse.

The short, plump woman typed a few things into the computer in front of her. She had very short, curly, dark brown hair –most of which was hidden under her nurse's cap.

"He's in room 513. The elevators are down the hall, and to your right."

"Thanks." And with that, Jezz made her way to the elevators.

* * *

"Hello," Jezz answered her phone.

"Hey, this is April, hope you don't mind, I got your phone number from Ville's cell phone," a familiar, female voice said.

"Not at all, how are things over there?" the elevator had stopped to pick up a couple of people on the second floor, one of which was a child who proceeded to push every button on the panel.

"Oh, things a fine, I just wanted to know if you were okay."

"I'm doing as well as can be expected I suppose. I'm in the hospital right now."

"Visiting your father?"

A moment's hesitation was all that Jezz allowed herself, "Yes, I'm visiting… him."

"Oh, alright, I'll let you go then."

"Okay, good bye."

"Bye."

The child ran off as soon as the doors opened in the fourth floor, and the woman who got on with him ran after him, yelling, "Don't run Jimmie!"

The doors closed again with a _ding _and Jezz allowed her self a few seconds to get a hold of herself. She swiftly did a mental inventory making sure that she was as ready to see him as she could be.

* * *

_Knock. Knock._

Jezz opened the door slightly after she heard a hoarse voice say "come in."

As she stepped into the private room, her soldier's eyes took in every exit. Sadly enough the only one was the door she came through. Her gaze swept over the white walls; white ceiling; white-and-blue checkered floor: her eyes took in the solitary window at the far end of the room; the life support machinery with its steady beep-beeps.

She stepped into the room wearing brand new dark gray maternity jeans and a black baby tee with the Marine seal. Her combat boots, still in place, were nearly as silent in the hospital as they'd been in the barracks. Her hair –now short, spiky and blue- seemed to be the only color in the room.

Despite her mother's pleas to wear something the man she was visiting would find appropriate, Jezz had come to the hospital no more dressed up than she would have been if she were going to the grocery store. Well, maybe a bit less so.

Jezz shook her head when she realized that the man on the bed had spoken and she hadn't been listening. "Sorry?"

The man smiled: his face was dark from his years working outdoors in the sun while his hair had been turned dirty-blond by it; his eyes a light, blue-gray; his teeth yellow from years of smoking and chewing tobacco. "How've you been?" he repeated.

"I've been well," she responded after a few seconds.

"Good," he said.

She moved until she was at the foot of the bed, but made no move to get closer.

"I didn't know you were pregnant," he said.

Jezz nodded but didn't answer immediately. When he'd thrown her out of her childhood home she'd almost fallen on her stomach, but years of having been forced to take ballet lessons let her spin, landing her on her side and almost dislocating her shoulder but saving her baby any discomfort. At that time her belly was not as developed as it now was, but that didn't stop her from frowning disapprovingly at the man. "Five months," she stated; her voice sharp.

It took a few seconds, but John paled slightly, perhaps remembering what he'd done.

Jezz frowned, '_did you think I'd go and have sex with someone as soon as Morgan was six feet under?_'

Soon after, John changed the subject and they started talking about the ranch and cattle. Even as a child, Jezz had loved learning everything there was to know about the ranch. And since John's wife Linda's car accident twenty-four years previous had left the woman unable to get pregnant, and therefore unable to give him a son, John couldn't have been happier.

But so many things had happened Jezz's life in the past eight years that she had been changed too dramatically for talk of this year's cattle-count to keep her attention for long. Eventually their talk drifted to the tattoos now decorating Jezz's arms, then to cars, guns, dogs, politics, Jezz's travels and anime. When a nurse came in to check up on John and told Jezz that visiting hours would be over in a few minutes, they both knew that they needed to get on with the more important part of the conversation.

* * *

Jezz walked out of the hospital, eyes downcast, face grim. She was exhausted. She slowly made her way to her car. When she got inside she took a pack of cigarettes out of the glove compartment and lit one.

He'd apologized. She had known him to be very stubborn, completely pigheaded, but he apologized. And now she couldn't help but think that Ville had been right. If she hadn't come… if he'd died… as angry as she might be, she would never forgive herself.

She accepted his apology, even though they both knew that true forgiveness would come slowly. For all they knew, he could be dead long before she really forgave him. But at least they knew it would happen.

* * *

Four days after Jezz spoke to her father, the lung cancer he'd been battling finally claimed his life. And while her mother cried, Jezz went out to the stables.

After visiting Patch and Rayne –both too old for her to do much more than just walk them- Jezz went to visit Caitlin Lewis, Mike's widow. They spoke for a while and went shopping with the kids Michael Jr., Andrea, and Andrew.

A few hours later, Jezz was on her way to her childhood home once more to make preparations for the funeral.

On the way there Ville called and apologized for letting Ape get the phone number, he and the guys had gone out and he'd left the phone at the house.

Jezz told him about the passing of her father and a few minutes later they hung up.

Later, at 'home', her mother asked her to stay for a few more days so that they could both attend the funeral.

* * *

A few days turned into a couple of weeks, but after the funeral, Jezz Richards-Jones and Linda Jones went to meet Jezz's father's lawyer, who would be reading the will.

_Mr. Franklin Collins_

_Attorney at Law_

The two women knocked on the door and were let in by a middle-aged man with graying hair. The man wore a black Armani suit and crocodile-skin boots. He led them to a lounge where they all took a seat.

* * *

"Jezzie, you have to stay!" Jezzie's Mother yelled.

"Mother, I have told you what I have to do. You and I both know that you have handled all the paperwork for the ranch since before I was born. There are things that I have to finish. I regret that you don't agree with my doing so, but that won't make me change my mind." Jezz replied calmly.

"Jezzie, baby, they are **dead**, can't you just… move on?"

Everything was silent until Jezz closed the door behind her. Once outside of her late… _father's_ study, she closed her eyes and took as deep a breath as she could draw in, and exhaled slowly. Finally, opening her eyes, she turned to the left and made her way to her old room, there were some things she wanted to take with her.

Unlike the floor in the first floor of the house, the ones on the second floor were cherry wood while the doors were oak.

Turning the knob on the door of her once-bedroom, Jezz stepped inside, not bothering to turn on the light. She made her way to the window silently, in deference to the memories dredged up by the room.

"Just how am I supposed to know what to do?" she whispered, slowly drawing back the drapes to allow the sunlight to enter the room. So distracted by her thoughts she was, that when her cell phone began ringing from within her pocket, she gave a small, soft cry of surprise, jumping.

She dug the offending object from her pocket and was about to silence it, when she remembered that only two… now three people had her number. She gave a small sigh and answered the phone.

"Hey," her voice was soft, as though whatever spell the room around cast on her had not been broken, but merely momentarily paused.

"Hey yourself," the voice sounded familiar, but it wasn't Ville, and definitely wasn't female. "It's Dunn, Bam told me to call you and let you know that we're on our way to Texas -at Ape's request, slash order- just so you know and you need to pick us up at the airport."

Jezz blinked a few times, letting her brain catch up to her ears, "uhm, alright, when are you guys going to be here?"

There was a bit of shuffling around on the other side and Jezz heard, "_we will now be descending. Passengers, please return to your seats and fasten your_—" the rest of the words were cut off.

"Oh, alright, I'm on my way, how many of you guys are there?"

"Well… uhm… Bam and Novak are here, Missy, Raab, me, Ape, Phil and Big Jess." After a few days of people wanting to speak to Jess or Jezz and ending up with both Dunn began calling Jess, Big Jess and Jezz, Lil' Jezz. The names stuck, funnily enough.

"Alright… and how did Bam get my number?"

"Ape… well… if it makes you feel any better it took Bam, Novak, Raab and Missy three days to get it from her."

"Of course, and you didn't help, did you?"

"I was with Ville, and Ape, be grateful."

"But who did you help?"

After a pause Dunn mumbled, "Bam."

"Alright, so there're eight of you?"

"Uhhh, yeah?"

"Alright, I'll send someone for you."

"Why don't you come?"

"Two of my godkids are having birthdays tomorrow; I'm helping their mum with the party."

"Ape and Missy'll want to help. And Raab can be a clown."

"You guys are still filming?"

"We're taking a break… we start again in three days."

"Have you finished the first season yet?"

"Yeah, we finished one season, eight episodes, but when Ape told Bam we were coming here, he decided to make another episode and have MTV pay for our tickets."

"Smart, alright, then how many people is there going to be here? Crew included."

"Uhm… a lot?"

Jezz shook her head, "put Bam on the phone," she said, walking out of the room and making her way downstairs.

There was a bit of shuffling around before Bam finally answered her questions. But after that was finished, Jezz hung up only to dial another phone.

A few minutes later, the car company taken care of, Jezz went out to the stables and asked one of the workers to saddle a horse for her. And once that was done, Jezz mounted a cream dun Keiger Mustang mare and went off, following the setting sun.

* * *

**_The Next Day: after birthday party_**

Well, Raab had in fact been an enthusiastic clown albeit a slightly crude one for the four-year olds. But all in all the party was fun and the presents loved.

Now Jezz and Bam's people were back at Bar None ranch, and Bam wanted the tour.

But instead of wasting time and energy, as well as horses, Jezz simply showed Bam a map of the place.

"Hmm, the house looks kinda small…" at Raab's attempt at humor, Jezz quirked an eyebrow and half-grinned.

The map was drawn to scale, eleven and a half feet by fifteen, and the twelve bedroom fifteen bath, three story plus basement and attic main house measured less than a quarter inch by quarter inch.

"Actually, it's about eight times bigger then it should be. Most of the other structures in the ranch are dots. See?" Jezz pointed at several dots of ink, beside which there were numbers.

"What're the numbers for?" Dunn asked.

Jezzika pointed to the legend at the corner of the map and said, "They're numbered so you can find them here, see? Barns, stables, closed-in pastures, and so on and so forth."

"What about this circle right here?"

Jezz looked to where Bam was pointing and said, "That's where we take the mustangs when we decide to buy some."

"Like bronc riding?"

Jezz smiled, "something like that, yeah."

"I wanna go riding," Bam stated.

Jezz stared at him for a few seconds, as did everyone else. "You wanna what?"

"I wanna go riding," he repeated, looking around at everyone else.

It took a coupled of minutes, but Jezz finally decided that them riding was better than keeping them cooped up in the house, as well as safer. And so, with that, Jezz led the boys out to the stables and a few minutes later, they were all astride; them on older, gentler horses and Jezz on a five year old Colorado Ranger mare.

They'd been riding for nearly an hour, just wandering around aimlessly when Jezz's mother, Ape and Phil emerged from the house. The women barely managed not to scream at the now five-and-a-half-months-into-her-pregnancy girl; spooking the horses was probably not a great idea. But they did order everyone off the horses, and once they riders had put the animals away, the yelling and scolding began.


	6. Back on the Road

Disclaimer: it's in the first chappie.

**_This Path, My Path_**

**_Chapter Six: Back on the Road_**

**_One Month Later: Beckley, West Virginia_**

After Bam and his groupies had arrived in Texas, they stayed only for one week before everyone went back to Pennsylvania, Jezz included. The next day, Ville had arrived; back from recording some new album. And three days after that, when Jezz told everyone she'd be leaving the following morning, Bam decided to reveal a little secret. He'd spoken to some hoity-toity, important, MTV representatives and had decided "hey! How 'bout we be _Jezz's_ groupies!" Everyone was thrilled, and no one had a choice in the matter so it was just as well. The very next day two RVs had arrived and they were off.

Steadily, the RVs made their ways down Jezz's 'places to visit' list that Ville had saved, for whatever reason.

So now, here they were, Ape, Bam, Missy, Don Vito, Phil, Ville, Bam, Big Jess, Dunn, DiCo, Rake, Raab and a barely-27, nearly seven months pregnant Jezzika.

* * *

"Ville, can I talk to you?" Bam stood behind the man, who was sitting in a barstool, drinking his troubles away.

"Sure," Ville shrugged, and stumbled after his friend, who eventually had to help him walk.

Bam took the Finn outside the bar and sat him and then himself on the curb.

"You're falling for her," Bam didn't ask Ville, he knew him too well to need to.

"God… yes." For some reason, both words came out in sobs.

Bam looked down at his feet. He opened his mouth to say something, and then he closed it. He opened it again, and closed it again. The third time he opened it, he finally managed to form some words, "why don't you do something about it?"

The empty laugh shook his friend and made Bam flinch, "You've heard her story what, four, five times? And you still think that she wants love?"

"Maybe… maybe she's just not sure what she wants?" for some reason, it came out sounding more like a question.

"Oh, she definitely doesn't know what she wants, but she's very sure of what she _doesn't_ want," Ville slurred.

"Have you tried… _talking_ to her?"

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say; and instant late Bam was on the ground, and Ville's hands were around his throat. "Are you fucking stupid!" bits of spittle were flying from Ville's mouth and hitting Bam like a hail storm

His usually-a-friend's hands were tightening around Bam. He couldn't breathe. Ville was yelling, but Bam couldn't make out the words any more.

"Ville!" another faint voice yelled and when Jezz's round belly came into view, Bam could only think, '_I'm saved!_'

Jezz wasn't alone either, Dunn, Raab and DiCo hauled Ville off of Bam, and big Jess pulled his brother to his feet. And when Ville tried throwing them off to go at Bam again, Jezz rushed the Finn and, with a lethal-looking right uppercut to the gut, she knocked him unconscious. Uh-oh, The Marine was back.

"Get them inside," she barked.

Raab almost saluted her, trying to lighten up the mood, but Dunn's elbow dug into his ribs and effectively stopped him.

They all sobered up immediately and went inside. And once inside the hotel-slash-bar, they followed Jezz up to the rooms.

They went into the room that Jezz was sharing with absolutely no one —Ape definitely put her foot down on that one, she wanted Jezz to be able to rest—and dumped Bam and Ville on the queen size bed.

"Get out." This time, there were no pretests, no comments, and no gestures. They did as Jezz ordered.

Once the door clicked shut, Jezz let herself slump down on a chair next to the window. Reaching down, she brought her guitar up to her lap and began picking a melody. Humming a little, she began mumbling a few words. This wasn't a song she'd ever heard on a guitar, but her cello was in the RV. It was a duet, and one the Ville, at least, would probably recognize.

* * *

She mumbled, "**_I'm giving up, the ghost of love,_**

**_End, of the shadows cast in devotion_**."

Then, because it was within her vocal range, she sang, "_She is the one that I adore._

_Queen of my silent suffocation_"

"_Break this bittersweet spell on me,_

_Lost in the arms of destiny._"

She heard the men behind her rousing and Ville slurred, joining her,

"**_Bittersweet,_**

_I won't give up, I'm possessed by her_

**_I'm bearing the cross she's turned into my curse"_**

_"Break this bittersweet spell on me,_

_Lost in the arms of destiny"_

_"Bittersweet… I want you…_

**_Oh, I want you_**

_And I need you…_

**_And I need you_**_"_

_"Oh… break this bittersweet spell on me,_

_Lost in the arms of destiny._

_Break this bittersweet spell on me,_

_Lost in the arms of destiny…_

_Bittersweet…."_

For the sake of her patience, which was still screaming at her to murder the two of them, she –and Ville- sang the song through again.

* * *

"So," Bam asked, "You were eavesdropping?"

Both men knew that if she'd chosen to sing a song of this sort; it was because she knew what the conversation was about.

"Not intentionally, I'll have you know." She didn't look away from the window, "we were having a cigarette and the two of you aren't very quiet when you've been drinking."

She began strumming at the instrument on her lap again; she needed to straighten her thoughts.

"Should I leave the two of you alone?" Bam asked.

"Why? Ville told you the truth. Until I've fulfilled my promise, I don't have any desire to fall in love. Even if I did," she sighed, shaking her head, "no… it's too soon, I can't forget. I won't forget."

"I'm leaving the two of you. Please… just talk about it."

And with that, Bam walked out of the room.

They didn't move for some time, with the exception of Jezz's strumming, but eventually, Ville moved to stand next to Jezz, and then he sat down at her feet.

"You know, I…" Ville began to speak, "I wasn't trying to…" he stopped speaking, and out of the corner of her eye, Jezz saw him frown.

"You weren't trying to develop your… warm, fuzzy feelings?"

Ville glowered at the woman, "that's… one way to put it, I suppose."

Jezz laughed, "what's with the face?"

Ville sighed and brought his right knee up and wrapped his arms around it. Then, he dropped his chin on it and closed his eyes, "is there a particular reason you're making a joke out of this?"

Now it was Jezz who sighed, the soft sound of her strumming died before she spoke, "it makes things easier."

"Makes what easier?"

The girl resumed her strumming before elaborating, "It's hard for me to even think of love at all, even in abstract, without remembering that Morgan, and Ricky, and Mike are dead. I miss them. And it hurts. If I try to think about love… for myself, it just hurts worse."

'_Oh, well, that explains a lot_,' Ville thought. And, it made sense… in a sense.

* * *

**_Five weeks later, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina_**

By now, Jezz was nearly at the ninth month of her pregnancy, and she looked about ready to pop. Of course, Missy and Ape wanted a baby shower, and Bam ruined it… and was put in the proverbial dog house by his wife, which, of course, gave him an idea.

He sent Dunn and Raab to kidnap Jezz –more like 'ask' that she let herself be kidnapped as the last time he'd tried to kidnap her noses and fingers had been broken before she even registered who they were– and they interrogated her (over dinner and hot-fudge sundaes). It turned out that Jezz had quite a few favorite dogs. She liked Dobermans, Rotties, Golden Retrievers, Aussie Sheps and Cattle Dogs and Border Collies, but she would never buy a purebred dog as a pet… who'da thunk? If she got a puppy, she would get one from an animal shelter.

The next day, Bam and Ville dragged Raab and Dunn to a local animal shelter.

"Jeez, why can't she want a purebred dog, like normal girls? Now we have to do all the work!" Raab hadn't stopped his whining except to inhale when he ran out of breath with which to complain.

Dunn elbowed him on the side and laughed at his friend's injured look. "Hey, Bam! What about this one?"

The paper hanging from the door of the cage said the male tri-colored puppy was a beagle mix. But the men could've figured that out just by looked at the thing; its coloring, size and the ears he was tripping over just _screamed_, 'I'm a beagle!"

And once Bam saw that, he hit Dunn over the head, "you idiot! She didn't say anything about Beagles!"

"She likes them though. She likes most hounds," Ville said through the handkerchief he held over his nose and mouth.

"Hey, Bam!" Raab called from the other side of the pound, and the three men and the shelter worker ran over.

**'Australian Shepherd/Border Collie mix'** the paper said. **'Ten weeks, male.'** The puppy had no known diseases, blah-blah blah-blah-bleh.

"Alright, we're taking this one!" Bam yelled at the worker three feet away.

Puppy No Name, as he was currently being called, yipped and yapped all the way to the RV –as the RVs were their only method of transportation, they'd been forced to take it to the pound– and Raab stuffed him in the little bathroom as soon as he could.

"Alright, she better be hella surprised!" Bam growled once they pulled up next to the other RV in the hotel parking lot.

As soon as we opened the door and stepped out side he was tackled by a very happy Missy. She ranted about how nice her husband was and this and that. Apparently, Jezz had interrogated back. Bam glared at Dunn, who hid behind Ville and then at Raab, who hid behind Puppy No Name.

Well, at least Jezz had pretended to be surprised, she kept talking to the puppy, crawling around on the floor with him. And, with the help of some little pieces of ham steak, taught the puppy to sit on command within half an hour of meeting the little runt.

"So, what's his name gonna be?" Ville asked from the safety of the bed.

"Hm, I'm not sure yet. I usually name dogs after cartoon or anime characters."

"Goku?" suggested Dunn.

"Taken," Jezz looked startled for a moment, but grinned a second later from her place next to the puppy, but her eyes had dimmed a little, "My first dog, a Golden Labrador."

"Uhm, ?" Raab chirped.

"Uh-uh, Rottweiler."

"Naruto? Kakashi? Sakura?" asked DiCo.

"Naruto's too new an anime. Good idea though." Then she picked up the puppy and held him in front of her face. The pup yipped and licked her face. With a laugh, she put him down again. "I think Naruto works."

"Does that mean I'm like his godfather?" DiCo asked.

Jezz laughed again, "sure, that means that when I'm in the hospital getting this," she knocked on her stomach, "taken care of, you're gonna baby-sit."

"Alright!"

Jezz whipped out her cell phone and called a car company, and a few minutes later, she, DiCo, Ville, Dunn, Bam, Big Jess, Raab, and Missy were picked up by four Chrysler 300s. They went to some local pet store, a vet, to lunch and then went back to the hotel.

When they finished Raab whistled, "Damn, Jezz, you're fuckin' rich. Wanna get married?"

The laughter he received was a little tense.

Dunn glared at him and chose that moment to intervene, "seriously though, you're loaded."

Jezz gave him a dry laugh, "you saw Bar None; you knew I came from a rich family."

"Yeah, but you just spent like hundreds of dollars… _on a dog_, and it didn't even faze you." Jess commented.

Jezz shrugged, "ehh, I have eight years worth of military salary, which I hardly used at all while I was in the military, then half of what my husband saved, then life insurance."

"Why only half of what your husband saved?" Bam asked.

"I gave the other half to his parents."

"What do they do?"

"His dad was my father's best friend as a kid. His family owned another ranch, but they fell into some bad times. They had to sell their property before Morgan was born. My father hired him as a foreman, Morgan's mom is a retired school teacher. Naruto!" Jezz grabbed the puppy by the scruff of the neck just as the thing was about to squat and handed him to DiCo, "I can't run, take him outside, hurry!"

With a nod, DiCo ran out of the room.

* * *

That night, Jezz woke up to a very wet, squishy feeling between her thighs, with a gasp she barely managed to brace herself before a contraction hit her. It was over in a few seconds but Jezz only spared a second to be grateful Raab was keeping Naruto for the night before she started banging on the wall behind her. The room on the other side was the room Bam shared with Missy, and she knew that if Jezz was banging of the wall it meant something like this. She also had a key to Jezz's room.

Jezz gave a short yell and braced herself as another contraction began, and she heard scrambling in the other room. And seconds later, Missy ran into the room wearing a bra and panties and Bam ran in after her with little Bam swinging around, as he was totally, utterly and completely naked.

"Shit! Bam go get Ape!" Missy yelled at her husband while she ran to Jezz's side.

Two hours later, Jezz was in the hospital, eating ice chips.

After being glared at by the OB/GYN after telling him she hadn't been to the doctor since two months into the pregnancy, and that yes she did in fact smoke, she'd had a sonogram where it was revealed that she wasn't having one baby, no, she was having two!

"Ugh, what a drag," Jezz mumbled to herself, munching on her ice chips.

The door of the room opened and Raab stepped inside, wearing a hoodie which was more than a little inappropriate for the middle of August. When the hoodie began moving, Jezz smiled in realization. Raab kept himself between Jezz and the door, and pulled out little Naruto.

And after a few minutes, when Raab left, Jezz felt much happier.

Sixteen hours later –which according to Ape, was pretty good time- Jezz was finally taken into the delivery room.

And some time after that, two healthy baby boys was delivered into the world. Richard Michael Richards, and Morgan Richards IV. Born on August 18th.

Two days later, Morgan's parents arrived and met their grandsons. Morgan's mother, using her 'teacher voice,' tried to convince Jezz that her promise was null and void now that she had children to take care of. Since Jezz refused to leave her promise unfulfilled, Maggie Richards settled for no more smoking or traveling, at least for the moment.

A couple of days later, after the grandparents left Jezz and company headed back to Pennsylvania to start Jezz's break from traveling. They had enough footage anyways. Jezz's mother declared that she would only meet the babies if Jezz moved back to the ranch, which resulted in Jezz bawling and Ape snagging the phone from her hand. Then the older woman proceeded to yell and berate and scream at the younger one's mother.


End file.
